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MLE's Porn and Ponies

I read and I write about what I read. Any questions?

Currently reading

Billionaire's Row
Sullivan Wheeler
The Summer I Became a Nerd
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London Falling
Paul Cornell
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Chase in Shadow

Chase in Shadow - Amy Lane I went into this book with pretty low expectations, but I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. It's a hard read. Chase isn't the world's nicest person. He makes decisions that hurt other people, but his actions aren't born out of malice, or any sort of narcissism. Chase is a deeply damaged, almost broken man. He doesn't want to hurt, or burden anyone. He made a promise to someone he truly cares for, and the thought of breaking that promise, and hurting Mercy is tearing him apart. He doesn't want to live a lie, but what he sees as the consequences of being true to himself are just too terrible to bear. He is complicated, and it seems like he never hurts anyone as much as he hurts himself. I found it interesting how much of a haven the porn was for him, and how it gave him an outlet for all of his repressed feelings and desires. I really liked how porn was treated like any other job. Chase, and the other actors were treated as real people, instead of stereotypes. Chase was no naive kid who needed a more seasoned actor to save him from the job, or himself. It was a choice he, and each of the actors made for a variety of reasons. No one was being exploited, or used. I liked how well they were treated by the company, and how well they treated each other. I liked Tommy as well. He had his own issues, and insecurities to deal with, and it wasn't a story about him sweeping in, and fixing Chase. I liked how much both Chase and Tommy were able to support each other, and how their relationship was based on respect, and mutual understanding instead of pure lust. Their relationship isn't just sex, and Tommy's love, and support help Chase to carry on. There was no magical healing penis.I really liked the secondary characters in this story. Mercy is not treated like a hindrance, or a burden, and Chase truly does love her. She loves him as well, and isn't the one dimensional villainess that seems so popular in m/m. I even liked that Chase's father, miserable as he is, had moments of humanity. He is not a good man, but even he isn't treated like he is just a monster. I really liked the other actors. They were a fun, and varied group. I think Dex had to be my favorite. I liked how much of a friend he was to both Tommy, and to Chase.Then I came to my favorite part of the story, which might be a strange way of putting it, but the honesty of Chase's breakdown made this story for me. Chase's problems were not easily solved, and, no matter how good the sex is between Chase and Tommy, it was not the cure to everything that was wrong with him. Chase is seriously depressed, and this story does justice to the struggle dealing with it is. Chase must come to terms with his past, and learn how to live with what has happened. Chase's coping mechanisms are well done, and feel authentic to his character.A really powerful, honest story filled with real characters, and angst that feels in proportion to what the characters have experienced. It's not a story for everyone. It's a dark story at times, but not one without hope, or humor.